Beach Like a Viking (Minus the Chafe)

Sunscreen? Check. Swim shorts that don’t destroy your thighs? Double check. Whether you're sunbathing, wave-smashing, or just flexing on seagulls — this guide’s got your glutes covered.

🧴 A no-nonsense list of beach must-haves (and a few Viking-approved extras)

🍌 Smart suggestions you actually need, written with zero fluff

🛡️ Anti-chafe wisdom forged in the fires of beach battles

😂 Humor, personality, and a closing line worthy of Thor’s approval